divorce isn’t the end of the world

Many times it can be a total blessing.

If you read my bio, you may have seen I’m a divorcee. Yes, 3 years ago I took the plunge and filed papers to divorce my spouse. I won’t get into the why or anything at this point, maybe never on my blog because it is the past.

it has been one of the best things i’ve done

As someone who got married in their mid-30’s with the non-belief in divorce, I found myself realizing that divorce isn’t not a bad thing. Living a lie is.

I’ll be the first to admit, divorce isn’t easy, nor should it be. I’m talking more of the emotional aspect of it. We invest our heart and emotions into a relationship for however long it may be and those emotions just can’t be erased.

it’s been 3 years so far for me

And as I send above it has been a total blessing for me and I’m sure for him.

Being totally at peace with my life is a wonderful thing!

Not walking on eggshells is beautiful!

Not worrying about what the other is up to and what dishonest things is going to happen next is most fabulous!

See, it’s been a blessing for me.

but i know it isn’t for everyone

or at least, they don’t think so at the moment.

I was speaking with my “man-friend” about divorce and how it hasn’t changed my thoughts bout love and marriage.

He agreed.

Which is a good thing for me. πŸ˜‰

His divorce was horrid. He was left without anything. The judge awarded everything to her. The home and all the rental properties. Ya see, Delaware sucks in divorces and custody suits. They are very pro women.

But my man-friend managed to slowly come out of the bottom of the pits, as many feel they are, and move one.

So happy for him!

My divorce was amicable and was a good thing he didn’t want my home. He was moving out West anyway, which was also good for me.

We divided stuff and off our way we went.

it’s been a blessing for me

I have relearned to be the independent woman I once was. I am much stronger now that I ever was.

I may have a distaste for the military because I totally believe in “bro code” before family.

However, I know they all aren’t bad.

I have a peaceful home which I call my serenity.

I have a great job with great benefits.

I have good friends who are there for me and vice versa.

I have two beautiful furchildren that help me through every step I take in life, as I provide love, shelter, and so much more for them.

Life is better than I ever thought it could be.

I was scared in the beginning. Maybe even frightened.

But now I am at peace. I am happy with who I have become and for what I have been able to provide for myself.

see, divorce isn’t the end of the world

unless you look at it that way.

Eventually, you will see that things happen for a reason and the majority of the time for the better.

I’d love to hear from you. If you’ve been divorced or out of a long term relationship, share with us below. Who knows, one’s experiences may help another who is currently going through a divorce or even contemplating it.

The mission is to support one another. Be there for each other. Unify.

Peace and Love …. xo

Categories relationshipsTags , ,

15 thoughts on “divorce isn’t the end of the world

  1. Hi Bren,

    Your post will uplift many people pondering divorce and also, new divorcees. People break up all of the time pre-marriage as boyfriends and girlfriends but few folks adopt a similar mindset, with various legal ramifications consistent with a divorce.

    I imagine there is great pain in divorcing someone but far worse pain in staying married to a person you do not love and cherish! Who does the immense suffering? Someone who knows it is time to be free or the person who feels bound until death?

    Thanks for the inspiring read.

    Ryan

    1. Thank you, Ryan! It was meant to uplift and give hope to those going through divorce or contemplating it. You’re right, it can be painful but there is light at the end of the tunnel. A better, brighter life! I appreciate your kinds words. Definitely adds to my mission of spreading love.

  2. A lovely perspective! Separation and divorce are never easy so it’s so important to feel seen and heard. There is always an opportunity for growth and creating a life you truly deserve.

    1. I couldn’t agree with you more. I know some divorces are very ugly and one can probably never see the brightside but with some soul searching, eventually I believe one can set themselves free. Appreciate your comment!

  3. Hi Bren, I divorced my first husband and it was painful. We were too young and tried over and over after the divorce to put it all back together but neither one of us were mature enough to keep it together.

    As it turned out, years later I met my second husband and I was old enough then to see the 180 degree difference in what my first marriage was like and how great a marriage can be when you are a bit older and wiser. We didn’t have the “forever after” with my second husband; he passed away. I’m not sure if I’ll ever marry again.

    1. Hi Monna. I’ve very sorry to hear about your first divorce experience. Sometimes they can be very difficult. But think, if it never happened you would never have met your true love.

      I’m sorry to hear of your second husband but time spent together must have been so precious. ❀

      Our experiences are all different, before I got divorce, my now exhusband wanted a divorce 3 years prior. I was devastated. However, he agreed to try and pull his head out of his rearend and not cheat on me so we tried again. 3 years later, he never quit his bad habits and I was done. It made it easier knowing HE ruined it this time but I beat him to the punch. The trust and everything was gone.

      Not sure if I’ll marry again either. I would like too, I think. I’ll just have to get to that point and figure it out then. We all experience love and heartbreak in different ways and no matter how difficult they can be, there is always a lesson from them.

      Peace & Love my friend xo

      1. I do think of that way too. If it weren’t for the divorce there is no way I would have met my second husband and as you said, “met my true love.”

  4. Hi Bren,

    Thank you for sharing your experience with divorce.

    My first marriage lasted 20 years. I stayed longer than I should have out of fear. The marriage and divorce were definitely one of my big lessons in this life. Lost friends, finances, and family as a result. The impact on the kids was the worst part. Yet, the decision was correct even if the execution left something to be desired.

    The most curious part about the divorce was the apparent need for friends and family to pick sides. Something neither my ex-wife nor I expected. Divorce appears to bring up other peoples fears and insecurities. I felt like a drive-in theater with all the projection going on around me. Not surprisingly some of the people who “divorced” me are now divorced themselves.

    Learning and growing,
    Eric

    1. Hi Eric.

      I’m sorry you had to experience divorce and I totally agree with your points. Family shouldn’t have to chose sides but I guess they feel they must. Friends and coworkers feel the need to as well. When children are involved, although I didn’t have any, they pay for it the worse. I assume they feel the need to chose sides as well. Overall not good situation but staying in an unhealthy marriage is worse imo.

      It’s funny you mentioned those who “divorced” you. Do you feel you started a trend? πŸ˜‰ Or just got them thinking? Or was that karma for they way they treated you?

      I hope you have moved on and things are better now for you. Keep your heart open to love. xo

      1. Hi Bren, Thanks. Things are much better now in general. One daughter avoids me but she has her path and my love regardless.

        Haha, maybe not a trend but who knows? A friend getting divorced might make it more real and easier to contemplate for others in the social group. A scary thing if one’s own marriage is less than solid.

        1. I’m glad things are better. Your daughter will eventually come around. Give it time. πŸ˜‰

  5. Your story gives hope to couples seeking a divorce. It’s certainly better than living in a miserable marriage, and the sense of freedom must be euphoric! πŸ™‚ I got lucky and found my soulmate early on, but that’s pretty rare, and I wouldn’t marry again if we ever split up. It sounds like you’re thriving in your new life, Bren. Congrats!

    1. You are very lucky, Debbie! I knew I had enough when I couldn’t even look him in the face anymore. All the deception got to me and I said “no more!” I was scared to death but figured, I deserved a life of peace and love, not lies and eggshells. i hope others do find inspiration from my post. Thanks for sharing!

  6. We separated after 39 years married he cheated early on in the marriage with drastic financial results and I forgave him they say love is blind and it is now I see him for what he is. I don’t see the marriage as a mistake we had done good years and have two great grown-up kids

    1. Sorry to hear about your divorce. 39 years is a long time. Hopefully, it didn’t affect your children too much and that your happy today.

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